Influence is Your Superpower - Book Summary

You were born influential – it's time to reclaim your secret superpower.

Peter Parker gained his superhuman abilities from a radioactive spider bite. Bruce Banner—well, a gamma ray accident transformed him into the Hulk. But unlike those comic book heroes, your origin story isn't about lab mishaps or cosmic rays—it's simply human nature. You're already influential; in fact, you've been wielding this power since the day you arrived.

Think about it. As a helpless baby—unable to talk, cook, or even walk—your odds of survival seemed slim. Still, you made it through. Your secret weapon? Influence. You had the profound ability to inspire others to take care of you. Sure, your primary tactic might have been bawling loudly—and often—but hey, it worked.

The older you got, the more sophisticated your strategies became. You bargained for candy, charmed your way to extra bedtime stories, even bravely attempted blackmail out on the playground. Did you win every battle? No. But your early adventures in influencing others were frequently successful enough to shape outcomes in your favor.

Yet at some point along the way, many of us lose sight of this inherent superpower. We're taught to value kindness, politeness, and sharing—qualities essential for harmony. But what about influence? Somewhere, somehow, we've come to believe that being influential feels manipulative, selfish, or even unkind. There's an unspoken assumption that getting what you want means others must lose.

Here's the real kicker, though: You can absolutely use your superpower and still keep your integrity intact. When applied authentically and ethically, influence doesn't take—it gives. It creates inspiration, spurs action, and leads to remarkable results for everyone involved. Just look at Marie Kondo, whose simple organizing philosophy reshaped households worldwide. She used influence to transform her passion into a movement.

The potential of influence is immense—whether you're looking to spark meaningful social change, grow your business, or simply brighten a stranger's day. With influence, thoughtful actions ripple outward, touching more lives than you ever imagined. Case in point: a rainy afternoon and quick thinking once boosted sales at a store by a whopping thirty-seven percent, simply because of one clever, influential idea.

So ask yourself: what will happen when you begin to intentionally and authentically reclaim your influence—your natural-born superpower? Stick around, and you'll uncover all sorts of insights on how influence works, why our brains sometimes resemble alligators', and how mastering your powers could open limitless opportunities in your life.

Your brain runs on autopilot way more than you realize—here's how to use that to your advantage.

If you're looking to influence what people think, you first need to understand how their thinking works. And spoiler alert—we often misunderstand our own minds.

Scientists classify the human brain's thought processes into two distinct modes, appropriately named System 1 and System 2. But let's call them something a bit more memorable—the Gator Brain and the Judge Brain.

Take an alligator. It is massive, often weighing hundreds of pounds yet equipped with a brain no larger than half a tablespoon. With a brain that tiny and resources so limited, alligators can't—it turns out—spare much energy on thinking deeply. Instead, they depend heavily on automatic reactions, instincts, and pure reflexes. Sunbathing by the water or lazily swimming in swamps is largely governed by autopilot—a survival strategy to conserve mental energy. Only when an unexpected threat or tasty snack appears does the alligator's cognitive machine truly rev into action.

Surprisingly, our brains resemble the alligator's more than we'd like to admit. Sure, the human brain is bigger—much bigger—but most of our daily routines are controlled by that same automatic, energy-efficient, Gator-like process. Making coffee, driving familiar routes, scrolling through emails—these are hardly tasks where your inner Judge Brain weighs pros and cons or meticulously analyzes details. Instead, your trusty Gator Brain kicks in, handling mundane tasks effortlessly to keep your mental battery from running low.

Then there's the Judge Brain—the thoughtful part. This mode engages when you're tackling something new, complex, or challenging. Calculating your budget, making big life decisions, or carefully evaluating persuasive arguments—these tasks require your analytical Judge Brain. But here's the surprising fact: we think we're rational beings guided primarily by the Judge, but it's the Gator around the clock steering most of our actions.

In other words, every bit of information that reaches our minds must first pass through the lazy, efficiency-loving gatekeeper—your Gator Brain!

Here's how you can tap into this insight. Usually, when trying to persuade or motivate someone, we painstakingly appeal to their inner Judge. We craft meticulous arguments and explain reasons carefully, assuming careful reasoning wins every time. Yet, if you ignore the simplicity-seeking Gator, your brilliant arguments might never even reach the Judge's courtroom—even clever pitches fail if they're overly complicated or effort-intensive.

Domino's Pizza cracked this code brilliantly. For decades, competitors like Pizza Hut had dominated pizza delivery sales—but Domino's had an idea to leverage our Gator brains' laziness.

They launched something called the Anyware campaign. The concept? People could order their favorite pizza simply by texting or tweeting just a pizza emoji—no complicated ordering process, no logging into websites. Send one emoji; get your pizza. This radical simplification didn't just make ordering easy—it fit seamlessly into lazy Gator Brain preferences. Almost immediately, Domino's orders surged by ten percent. And within three short years, Domino's overtook Pizza Hut as the world's largest pizza delivery company.

That’s the power you hold when you appeal directly to the Gator. Rather than adding complexity, ask yourself: what's your pizza emoji-style shortcut? Whenever you simplify your message, your call to action, or eliminate unnecessary barriers—you'll effortlessly connect with the real decision-maker behind the scenes: the lazy, powerful Gator brain.

Want something? You might just need to ask.

One day, Jia Jiang—a business-school graduate still smarting from a recent rejection—walked into a Krispy Kreme in Austin, Texas, with a seemingly impossible request. He asked the server, Jackie, if she could make donuts shaped like the Olympic rings. Oh, and could she have them ready within fifteen minutes?

Now, Krispy Kreme doesn’t make Olympic donut specials. At least, they're not on the menu. Yet, Jackie didn't hesitate. Not only did she whip up Jia's Olympic-inspired treat in less than the requested time—she even gave them to him free of charge.

So, what's Jia's powerful method of influence? It's so simple you might overlook it: he simply asked.

Seems too easy, right? Yet asking outright is one of the most straightforward—yet underestimated—ways to influence someone toward giving us what we want. Most of us avoid outright asking because we're terrified of being rejected. And rejection can sting deeply.

Jia Jiang knew this feeling too well. Fresh out of graduate school, he was determined to be an entrepreneur, but his very first pitch to a venture capitalist earned him a resounding "no." That rejection stung badly enough to make Jia nearly abandon his entrepreneurial dreams. But before he threw in the towel, he asked himself a crucial question: "What's holding me back?" It turned out, it was simply the fear of hearing "no."

Determined to conquer this fear, Jia decided on a daring personal mission: "100 Days of Rejection Therapy." Each day, he'd boldly approach strangers and ask for absurd favors he was nearly certain they'd refuse. By getting used to hearing "no," he hoped to immunize himself against rejection's sting.

He soon discovered a fascinating twist: though some of his wild requests were denied—like asking Costco to make an announcement over its store intercom or modeling live in an Abercrombie and Fitch storefront—quite often, people surprised Jia by saying "yes." Starbucks happily created a brand-new role for him as a store greeter. A family even invited him to join their backyard soccer game. And of course, Jackie delivered those custom Olympic donuts.

The lesson is clear: mastering influence involves accepting—and even embracing—the occasional rejection. You don't need an elaborate strategy; sometimes, you just need the courage to ask.

To gain Jia's brand of bravery, practice saying "no" yourself. Try setting aside one day—you can even start with just a few hours—and gently decline every request that doesn't genuinely excite you. Say "no" firmly, respectfully, and without offering excuses or compromises.

As you become more confident in delivering "no," you'll quickly realize something liberating: everytime you say "no," you're not attacking or rejecting the person asking, you're simply declining their specific request. And once you're comfortable hearing and expressing "no," you won't shy away from asking others yourself. And guess what? You'll find people often respond to your requests with a surprising number of "yeses."

In fact, out of Jia Jiang's hundred bold experiments, he collected an astonishing total of fifty-one yes replies. Over half his seemingly crazy requests succeeded, all because he had the courage—and humility—to ask.

But is there an art to how and when you ask? Absolutely. In a moment, we’ll explore exactly how you can craft your requests so they're more likely to get a warm, resounding "yes."

Pitch smarter by mastering timing, language, and asking methods.

Here's a surprising truth about influence: the "when" of your pitch often matters just as much—if not more—than the "how" or even the "why." Let's set the scene in a rain-soaked Hong Kong, where a Filipino airline brand did something extraordinary on a gloomy monsoon day.

Between relentless downpours, the airline's marketing team hit the city streets with cans of waterproof invisible spray. They stenciled a hidden message on sidewalks—one only revealed when it rained again. Sure enough, the rains returned, unveiling bright yellow letters that read simply: "It's sunny in the Philippines." Alongside, a scannable QR code linked curious passersby directly to vacation packages. The timing was flawless. When you're soaking wet and cold, sunny skies and warm beaches become remarkably compelling. The result? That airline saw flight sales skyrocket almost instantly, generating an astounding thirty-seven percent increase in sales.

The secret here goes beyond clever marketing—it's about understanding your audience's emotional state. Your offer becomes powerfully persuasive precisely at the moment when people crave it most.

So whether you're pitching your boss for a raise or convincing potential clients about your product, choose your timing carefully. Ask for that promotion right after you've nailed an important project—not when your boss is racing against deadlines. Selling snow shovels? A forecast of heavy snowfall will go a bit farther than sunshine.

Now, timing alone won't guarantee success. Your language matters too. Words and phrases like "sort of," "maybe," or "just wondering…" seem humble or polite—but in fact, they drain the confidence and authority from your pitch. Likewise, sprinkling your speech with hesitant qualifiers— "I could be wrong," or "this might not be perfect" —turns attention to your insecurities rather than your key message. Similarly, repetitive use of "I" puts the focus squarely on yourself, instead of the value of your idea.

Instead, sharpen your phrasing to place emphasis firmly on your pitch. For instance, instead of tentatively beginning with something like, "I don't know if you'll approve, but could we possibly…?" confidently frame it as, "How can we best achieve this outcome?" This simple shift funnels attention toward your idea, rather than your own doubts about it.

Another powerful psychological strategy is to anchor expectations. Need to raise twenty thousand dollars? Try initially asking for thirty thousand. What's happening here? Suddenly that original twenty-thousand dollar request doesn't seem overwhelming. By presenting a bigger initial number, you've created a sense of scale. This method doesn't just improve the odds of agreement—it also sparks reciprocity, since giving ground from your larger starting point looks like you're making a concession. Feeling you've compromised, your audience may naturally reciprocate by approving your revised ask.

And here's one more secret weapon to have up your sleeve: the magic phrase, "What would it take?" Consider a typical scenario—you want to transition from full-time work to a part-time arrangement. If you ask your manager, "Why can't I go part-time?" you're likely to receive a list of roadblocks. Instead, ask, "What would it take for us to make my role part-time?" This subtle rephrasing shifts the conversation from obstacles to solutions. Your boss begins actively mapping out workable scenarios—perhaps new training programs, clearer priorities, or supportive resources. Suddenly, you've changed the dynamic from a problem into a collaborative effort to reach a shared goal—one that benefits both parties.

At its best—influencing people is about creating conditions where your interests align, and collaboration becomes the natural choice.

Remember: great influencers don't just pitch harder—they pitch smarter, knowing exactly when, how, and in what way to ask.

The right frame turns your pitch into a powerful magnet—here's how.

Quick exercise: Can you think of three blue things?

Okay, now think of three things that—just like milk, marshmallows, and snow—are white.

We can't guess what blues popped into your mind. But we'd bet good money that "milk, marshmallows, and snow" had a big influence on your chosen white examples. Why? Because our suggestion framed your thinking.

Framing isn't just persuasive—it's powerful. In fact, a smartly framed idea can even alter someone's entire future direction. Let's travel back a bit, when Steve Jobs was desperately trying to persuade John Sculley to leave a stable, hugely successful role at PepsiCo and become Apple's new CEO. Understandably, Sculley wasn't interested at first; there was no logical reason for him to abandon one of the most prestigious corporate careers in America to join a tiny, unpredictable start-up run out of someone's garage.

Jobs adjusted his frame and asked one of the most famous pivot-questions in business history: "Do you want to sell sugar-water for the rest of your life, or do you want to come with me and change the world?"

Suddenly, Jobs reframed Sculley's choice—shifting attention from status to significance, and turning the position at Apple into something truly compelling. Sculley immediately took the leap. That simple, well-designed frame changed everything.

That's the power of framing. You can't just toss numbers, facts, or details at a listener and expect them to connect. How people respond to your pitch depends heavily on the way you present—that is, the frame through which they view it.

Don't worry if you're not sure how to harness framing instinctively. Let's explore three powerful frames you can use immediately to boost your influence.

First up: the monumental frame. Position your idea as something extraordinary, special, or critically important. Jobs used a monumental frame brilliantly—he suggested his vision was momentous, world-changing, even historic. Framing something as monumental is inspiring and calls people to action by attaching a compelling, bigger-picture significance.

But be careful; sometimes monumental is intimidating. That's why another effective approach is the manageable frame. Rather than emphasize importance, make your concept achievable and realistic for your listener. This gentle frame encourages action by making an overwhelming task seem doable. A great example is Australia's Commonwealth Bank experiment with credit card statements. Instead of merely showing customers intimidating debt balances, the bank broke debt down into smaller categories—such as entertainment or dining. Paying off one category at a time felt infinitely easier. And indeed, those customers paid their debts down twelve percent faster than their counterparts using regular credit card statements.

Finally, leverage the mysterious frame. Humans are curious creatures. When something sparks curiosity, novelty, mystery—our Gator Brains wake right up, eager to satisfy their inquisitive impulses. Wonder why clickbait titles beginning with phrases like "You'll never believe..." work so well? That's the mysterious frame in action. But caution: don't stretch this frame too far—avoid exaggerated promises that leave readers or listeners disappointed. Mystery works best when delivered truthfully and followed by real value—not hype with empty promises.

Still unsure which frame is right for you? Here's brilliant good news: you don’t have to pick just one. Marie Kondo's runaway bestseller "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" combines these very three frames elegantly. "Life-changing" communicates monumental impact. "Magic" hints at something mysterious and fascinating. And the idea of "tidying up"?—well, that's reassuringly manageable. Imagine if the book had instead been named "House-Organization Techniques." Not quite as compelling, right? That's all down to framing.

So remember, it's not just what you pitch—it's the angle, emotions, and sense of possibility you use to frame your pitch. Choose the right frame—or even combine them—and you'll have people excited, curious, and eager to listen.

Resistance isn't the enemy—it just means it's time to redirect.

Have you ever seen practitioners of Aikido in action? This graceful Japanese martial art isn't about punching or kicking—instead, it teaches you the art of deflecting and redirecting an opponent's attacks, using their own energy and force to gently guide them into safety. It's about harmony rather than confrontation—about transforming pushback into partnership.

Whenever you're trying to sway someone to your idea, anticipate resistance. Objections aren't bad news; they're your invitation to practice skillful influence, Aikido-style. Instead of rigidly fighting—respond flexibly, by identifying and respectfully reframing what stands in your way.

Let's learn from Ethan Brown, founder of Beyond Meat—a CEO whose remarkable success hinged on his strategic Aikido-like approach to consumer pushback.

Brown knew his mission—a sustainable, plant-based alternative to meat—was a tough sell initially. Past meat-substitute offerings often took a confrontational stance, highlighting that traditional meat-eaters weren't doing enough for the planet or their own health. Meat lovers felt scolded—not exactly the most receptive audience for change.

Rather than judging or shaming his intended audience, Brown decided to embrace their resistance and approach them differently. Instead of focusing his marketing around restriction (like “Meatless Mondays” campaigns do), he reframed his products as exciting improvements—products that went "beyond" meat. He anticipated objections around taste by masterfully partnering with familiar mainstream fast-food chains. Soon, mouth-watering, indulgent plant-based burgers, subs, and pizzas became irresistible for meat-eaters who might once have resisted such products. Brown successfully leveraged—and redirected—the objections of skeptical carnivores. How effective was this strategic reframe? In 2019 alone, Beyond Meat's sales soared to an impressive 98.5 million dollars.

You too can become an expert in this elegant art of respectful, skilled persuasion. Here are three essential tactics to anticipate, affirm, and smoothly redirect resistance.

First, name and acknowledge the resistance openly. When someone resists your pitch, don't pretend the reluctance isn't there or brush away their doubts lightly. Instead, directly name their resistance—clearly, compassionately, and succinctly. Try phrases like, "I understand you might think I'm inexperienced to handle this leadership role," or "You're probably thinking a price increase seems steep." This simple acknowledgment immediately disarms resistance, quieting their objection long enough for them to fully hear and consider your actual message.

Second, ask permission before jumping straight into the big question. People are constantly overloaded with requests and appeals for their attention. Our efficient—but lazy—Gator Brains tire quickly and default toward "no" when overwhelmed. Instead of directly asking, "Can I get a raise?" begin with, "Could we set up a brief meeting to discuss my salary sometime this week?" By doing so, you're asking permission to move forward, rather than putting immediate pressure on the listener. If they say yes, they've tacitly agreed to explore your main request. If they say no, they're not closing the door permanently—they've just delayed the conversation, leaving you free to revisit at a better time.

Finally, explicitly acknowledge your listener's freedom of choice—and mean it. Even though people obviously are always free to decline an offer, stating that freedom out loud can eliminate stress from the interaction, fostering goodwill. Try adding phrases like "Of course, feel free to say no," or "No pressure; it's entirely your choice." Sounds counterintuitive? Actually, setting clear no-pressure boundaries encourages others to feel less threatened—and therefore more receptive—to your proposal.

Resistance is an inevitable part of influencing—so embrace it. Remember that powerful inspiration unfolds when you meet people's hesitations with empathy and openness. Just like an Aikido champion redirects energy, carefully anticipating and responding to resistance transforms opposition into genuine collaboration.

Influence isn't about winning—it's about inspiring collaboration.

At its core, genuine influence empowers you to achieve your goals while bringing others along with you. Powerful influencers don't simply push their ideas onto others or dismiss resistance as an obstacle to bulldoze. Instead, they view differing opinions as rich opportunities for connection, growth, and creative problem-solving.

They skillfully listen, communicate openly, and authentically transform hesitation into collaboration—and even objections into commitment.

The good news? This extraordinary type of influence is no secret superpower reserved for the few. It's actually an innate human talent you've carried from birth—just waiting to be reclaimed and refined with practice.

By thoughtfully framing your proposals, mastering timing and language, boldly overcoming your fear of rejection, and gracefully redirecting resistance, you'll find yourself equipped to influence positively, ethically, and powerfully.

Because real influence isn't about manipulating someone else to do things your way. It's about inviting others into a shared vision—one in which mutual respect, insightful understanding, and meaningful outcomes benefit everyone involved.

And that—quite simply—is influence at its very best.