Communicate to Influence - Book Summary

Dive into the art of exceptional communication

Mastering the fine art of communication can open the door to a world of opportunities — clinching that dream job, securing the necessary investment for your startup, or rallying your team towards unprecedented success. The magic of communication seems straightforward, but many of us stumble over the simplest of missteps that could well cost us these golden chances.

Think about the extraordinary eloquence of iconic figures like John F. Kennedy. His powerful speeches not only captured the imagination of the masses but also inspired nation-altering achievements, such as the moon landing. But here's the catch — top-tier communication isn't only reserved for world-shaping events. The very same skills can be harnessed in your everyday interactions, transforming your next office meeting into a success story.

In this compelling narrative, you'll discover —

The five most common communication blunders you're likely making;

The pivotal role of body language in enhancing communication; and

The impact of the SHARP technique in establishing a deep connection with your audience.

Discover the top five pitfalls in the realm of communication

Imagine this: you're delivering a crucial presentation, only to find your audience dozing off, or worse, engrossed in a riveting game of Candy Crush on their smartphones. Not an ideal scenario, right? The solution to avoid this communication catastrophe lies in recognizing and rectifying the five common errors people make while interacting with their audience.

First up, the 'Information Overload'. Focused solely on the substance of your content, you end up scrutinizing every minute detail, thereby neglecting the presentation style. Remember, even if you're sharing a groundbreaking revelation like a cancer cure, a monotonous delivery can bore your audience into an early nap.

Then comes 'The Authenticity Deficit'. The absence of authenticity triggers skepticism and creates a chasm between you and your audience. Take a look at the US presidential elections from 2000 to 2016. The losing candidates exuded a sense of contrivance, while the winners projected an air of sincerity, resonating with the electorate.

'The Preparation Gap' is the third pitfall. Despite common misconceptions, preparation is not only for presentations. Any situation where communication might occur — staff meetings, casual office chats, business lunches — can be strategized in advance to ensure your message resonates.

Next, 'The Self-Awareness Shortfall'. It's key to remember that our perception of ourselves seldom mirrors others' perceptions. You might believe your speaking style is just perfect, while your audience might find you too rapid-fire. Before any important conversation or presentation, seek feedback to calibrate your approach.

The final mistake? 'Sticking to the Status Quo'. Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be daunting, but essential for growth. To truly refine your communication prowess, you'll need to take risks and challenge the norms from time to time. After all, growth and comfort rarely ride the same bus.

Navigate the challenges of shortened attention spans and distrust in authority

To make your voice stand out amidst the overwhelming cacophony of the digital age, you need to have a compelling message. With smartphones vying for attention in every pocket, commanding undivided attention is no easy feat.

The emergence of online content birthed a new phenomenon, the 'attention economy', where mobile devices often take precedence over interpersonal communication. Take, for instance, a survey by Time magazine in 2012, revealing that 84 percent of individuals were hooked to their phones daily, with 20 percent checking their device every ten minutes.

The allure of mobile devices lies in the endorphin rush they offer. Each notification — a like, comment, share, or retweet — triggers a burst of these happy hormones in our brain's pleasure center. However, this constant digital stimulation has led to dwindling attention spans.

Adding to the communication challenge is the rising tide of mistrust towards authority figures. The 2008 financial crisis, which was poorly managed by experts and leaders, stoked these flames of suspicion. Data from the Edelman Trust Barometer indicates that fewer than 20 percent of the population trust business or government leaders to be transparent about crucial issues. Given that trust is an integral part of communication, traditional leadership has consequently lost much of its influence.

We currently face an information overload, with a corresponding deficit of inspiration, leaving today's generation yearning to be part of a cause larger than themselves. A study in 2013 highlighted that a whopping 85 percent of millennials sought jobs with a higher purpose, aiming to contribute positively to the world, rather than just personal gain.

This craving for meaningful engagement reflects in the rising demand for socially conscious products and business models. A case in point is TOMS, a shoe company with a unique "one-for-one" model, donating a pair of shoes to underprivileged children for every pair sold.

To cut through the noise and truly resonate with your audience, blending authenticity with an inspiring narrative becomes more crucial than ever.

Identify your communication style with the Communicators Road Map and aspire to inspire

Knowing your own communication style is the first step towards honing your message delivery. The Deckers have crafted a handy tool for this self-analysis, aptly named the Communicators Road Map. This map features four distinct communication styles, and your goal should be to evolve towards the most impactful fourth style—inspiring.

Style one—informing—primarily focuses on imparting information. There are no added instructions or persuasions. The intention is purely informational, allowing the audience to interpret or utilize the information as they see fit.

Style two—directing—is a step up from informing. Here, information is complemented with explicit instructions, often used by individuals in positions of power to issue orders or directives.

Style three is all about entertaining. The content is designed to evoke emotions—be it tears of laughter or sorrow. Late-night talk show hosts like Jimmy Kimmel epitomize this style, offering engaging content sans instructions.

The fourth and most potent style is inspiring. It is an emotional-engaging, action-stimulating style of communication, which creates speeches that echo through the halls of history. The legendary Martin Luther King Jr. was a master of this style.

So, how does one transition from being a good communicator to an inspiring one? The secret lies in striking the right balance between emotional resonance and crafting a message relevant to your audience. If you tend to direct, as a boss might, consider building an emotional bridge to your audience. If you're naturally an entertainer, you're already engaging emotions, but focus on tailoring your message around your audience. And if you're an informer, working on both emotional engagement and message relevance would be beneficial.

By shifting your style in these directions, you can elevate your communication skills, becoming an inspiring, memorable, and persuasive speaker. Up next, let's delve into tactics that can deepen your connection with your audience.

Amplify your connection through visual cues of warmth, confidence, and trust

Now that you've identified your communication style, let's turn our attention to the delivery. It might surprise you, but non-verbal communication actually takes the lead in effective communication. So let's delve into four essential tools to leverage visual communication.

First and foremost, eye contact. It's an incredibly potent tool to portray yourself as trustworthy, likable, and empathetic. If you're engaging a small group, try to maintain eye contact with each person for at least five seconds.

For larger gatherings, you might be tempted to scatter your gaze across the crowd. Resist the urge. Instead, establish a solid gaze with at least one individual in each section. Eye contact has a powerful halo effect — it radiates warmth and connection to everyone in the vicinity.

Next up, body language. The "ready position" is a proven posture that avoids detrimental mannerisms. Imagine an invisible string pulling your head towards the ceiling, draw your shoulders back, and balance your weight on the balls of your feet. This posture exudes an aura of confident energy, all while keeping the unnecessary mannerisms at bay. Avoid leaning backward, crossing your legs, constantly shifting or pacing back and forth, or remaining frozen in one place.

Gestures, when done right, can imbue your message with passion and enthusiasm. The key lies in varying your gestures, and ensuring they align with and reinforce your message. For instance, when you're discussing "three factors," extend your hand and hold up three fingers.

Last but not least, the power of a smile. It's a simple yet incredibly effective tool for displaying warmth and confidence. It also helps mask any jitters you might be experiencing. So, while delivering your inspiring message, remember to wear an inviting smile!

Effective communication lies in the power of voice modulation and strategic pauses

Imagine being an audience member, subjected to a presenter who mumbles or whispers. It's almost certain you'd seek a more productive use of your time. Hence, vocal delivery is hailed as the second most influential factor in effective communication.

The quickest way to a listener's disinterest? A tedious, slow, monotone delivery that saps any life from your message.

To ensure your vocal delivery captivates as much as your content, learn to judiciously play with pace, volume, and pitch. As you gear up to make an important point, raise your volume and quicken your pace to build anticipation. Be cautious, however, not to speed up to an extent where you compromise clarity.

Pitch variations are another tool to keep your audience on their toes, and it's a valuable method to underscore transitions or themes in your message. However, watch out for "up talk"— the tendency to start low, gradually increase and end on a high note— making your statements sound like questions, which undermines your credibility.

Your goal should be to sound assured and charismatic, as if speaking to a group of close friends. Imagine hosting a dinner party, where you're in your element, effortlessly sociable, and engaging— a compelling storyteller who captivates listeners. This mindset will naturally lend itself to an appropriate tone, exuberance, and vocal variety.

Don't forget the power of pauses. A well-placed, two- to three-second pause after making a significant point, magnifies its importance, and allows the audience to digest the information. Pauses can underline your credibility, preparedness, and consideration for your audience. Use them to your advantage.

Engage your audience by weaving stories and humor into your narrative

To ensure that your message isn't forgotten once your audience steps out of the room, it's essential to forge an emotional connection with them. This is where the power of SHARPs — Stories, Humor, Analogies, References, and Pictures — comes into play.

Stories are universally appealing, stirring emotions while accentuating key points. Suppose your message revolves around friendship and loyalty, consider narrating a tale about six friends playing basketball, five of whom are in wheelchairs. As the game concludes, the five players rise from their wheelchairs, helping their disabled friend across the street to a pub to enjoy a round of cold beers.

This story, drawn from a Guinness advertisement highlighting friendship, demonstrates how stories can make your message compelling and memorable. They can even enliven dry statistics or numerical data.

Emotionally charged tales, be they heartwarming or tragic, can galvanize people into action. For instance, at fundraisers for the Boys and Girls Club of America, teenagers share their personal stories of enduring gang violence, abuse, and parents with substance use disorders. A powerful story of a teenager confined in a trailer for two days while their mother binged on methamphetamines might elicit more donations than merely presenting the statistics about at-risk youth.

Humor, especially self-deprecating humor, can effectively engage your audience and cast you as modest, affable, and endearing. Take the example of Katy Klein, a US tech company's chief marketing officer. She kicked off a PowerPoint presentation with a slide displaying her driver's license and began, "I have a confession to make, I lied on my driver's license. I'm only five foot one, not five foot two." Although it seemed tangential initially, Katy skillfully looped back to this anecdote while discussing the importance of honesty in marketing— demonstrating that humor can be intertwined with the main message.

Enliven your content with relatable analogies, effective references, and vivid visuals

Moving on to the remaining three SHARPs—Analogies, References (including quotes), and Pictures.

Analogies serve as powerful anchors, connecting unfamiliar concepts to something easily comprehensible, making them especially beneficial when dealing with intricate subjects like astrophysics or microtechnology. They can intrigue and captivate your audience when deployed well.

Consider an engineer aiming to promote the merits of standardization in his presentation. He cited the Great Baltimore Fire of 1904, where the tragedy was exacerbated due to incompatible firefighter hoses and city fire hydrants, as a compelling analogy underscoring the imperative of standardization.

Incorporating references and quotes is a simple, yet efficient strategy to engage your audience. While a quote should ideally be concise, a reference can bolster your point by supplementing your message with credible details. Both these tools offer opportunities to diversify the tone of your delivery, keeping your narrative fresh.

Visuals such as pictures, innovative PowerPoint slides, striking videos, or even smart props can add a dash of excitement to your content. Remember the three Bs—Big, Bold, and Basic—when selecting a visual. This will ensure that it's not only visible but also relevant to the audience, rather than being a mere distraction.

Take a leaf out of the book of successful marketing campaigns. The New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene ran an impactful subway campaign against sugary sodas. It featured a visually arresting image of a soda bottle pouring into a glass, with the soda transforming into human fat. The accompanying slogan, "Are you pouring on the pounds?" succinctly drove home the point, making it a masterclass in visual communication.

Understanding your audience's needs is the key to inspiring them to act

Capturing your audience's interest necessitates understanding their desires and needs. With this awareness, you can tailor your message to their unique circumstances.

To create a comprehensive audience profile, ask yourself three fundamental questions: Who are they? What are their expectations? What is their current knowledge base?

Next, distill the answers into three essential adjectives that capture the essence of your audience. Use these to frame your message effectively.

Suppose you're addressing an overworked small business team. They aspire to expand, but their website fails to attract traffic, and they are unsure how to rectify this. Your three defining adjectives might be 'busy', 'growth-focused', and 'unfamiliar'. Armed with this insight, you could craft a compelling pitch on how Search Engine Optimization (SEO) can enhance their website traffic with minimal additional effort.

When your message is intended to motivate action, it should carry a clear and concise Point of View (POV). This is a succinct statement encapsulating your entire message, providing the audience with a compelling reason to act.

For a business poised to benefit from SEO services, the POV could be: "Your clients need to find you before they can engage your services."

Once the POV is established, provide actionable steps. If you offer services or resources relevant to them, this is the opportune moment to direct them towards these.

To encourage immediate action, present them with a time-limited offer. Let them know that your services or books are currently discounted, but only for the next 24 hours. "So act now!" would be the call to action.

Leverage the Decker Grid to craft coherent and focused messages

With a firm understanding of your audience and your content, the next step is to structure your information, and that's where the Decker Grid comes into play.

The Decker Grid is a handy template designed to help you organize and identify your key points and themes. It consists of 20 boxes configured into four columns and five rows. Each box is a placeholder to describe different aspects of your presentation, with the top and bottom rows reserved for your introduction and conclusion.

Imagine you're preparing a pitch to convince a small business to avail of your SEO services.

In the first box of the top row, you'd insert your opening SHARP—perhaps a quote, a humorous anecdote, or a success story from a previous client who greatly benefited from your services.

The next box houses your POV, something on the lines of: "Before potential clients can hire you, they must first be able to find you."

This naturally leads to the box for your ACTION, such as delving deeper into the benefits of SEO.

The final box in the top row is for your BENEFIT — the expected outcome of the action, like increased web traffic and new client acquisition.

The subsequent three rows are where you present your Key Points and Sub Points. An example of a Key Point could be "The immense value of SEO", supported by Sub Points like "Google Analytics" or "megatrends". To maintain audience engagement, ensure that at least two Sub Points are communicated in the form of a SHARP.

The bottom row holds your concluding thoughts, structured slightly differently from the top row.

First, reaffirm your POV. Next, provide a Specific ACTION Step — instead of a vague "utilize my service", make it "avail my service today for a special discount". Then, elaborate on another BENEFIT, perhaps quantifying the potential increase in web traffic.

Finally, close with another impactful SHARP, possibly a relevant quote from someone like Mark Zuckerberg underlining the crucial importance of robust SEO.

Embodying a growth mindset and humble confidence makes for a powerful communicator

Being an effective communicator is more than just about clarity and precision of speech. With a compelling presence, an engaging voice, and the right choice of words, you can influence the way people perceive and act.

Exceptional communicators are powerful influencers. However, to attain such a level, one must steer clear of a fixed mindset and embrace a growth mindset instead.

A fixed mindset hinders personal development, leading individuals to highlight their limitations instead of their potential. On the other hand, a growth mindset eradicates self-imposed boundaries and dispels fears of inadequacy or lack of inherent talent. This mindset nurtures the understanding of our capacity for growth and improvement.

In his acclaimed book "Good to Great," Jim Collins asserts that all successful companies share a common trait: leaders who embody a growth mindset.

Moreover, exceptional leaders exude a 'humble confidence' that instills inspiration and motivation in those around them.

Leaders with humble confidence prioritize serving and empowering others over asserting dominance. They demonstrate receptivity to collaboration, a vital trait in leadership.

Consider the persona of Nelson Mandela, often seen with an infectious smile—an undeniable manifestation of humble confidence. Mandela was neither arrogant nor self-aggrandizing; he was keenly aware of the potency of humility.

As an adept communicator, Mandela wasn't afraid to aim high, proposing audacious solutions that called for significant progress rather than incremental steps.

Mahatma Gandhi was another influential figure who championed significant change. During the Salt March in 1930, Gandhi showcased the power of non-violent protest as a formidable response to the brutal oppression of British colonial rule. His revolutionary approach garnered attention, illustrating how the right intent can make the seemingly impossible, possible.

These influential figures serve as ideal role models. Now, it's your turn to apply these insights, with the aspiration of making a positive impact on the world.

Concluding thoughts

Creating an emotional bond with your audience is key to eliciting action. This connection can be fostered by exuding genuineness and warmth through your demeanor and voice, while incorporating emotional triggers into your content. The Decker Grid serves as an excellent tool to help craft a coherent, impromptu message, bolstering the potency of your communication.